Be Nice Out There

The leaves are on the trees and Magnum bars are on special at the Giant, which can mean only one thing: Triathlon season is upon us. Whether you’re signed up for your first tri this summer or your fiftieth, here are some etiquette tips to help the season go smoothly.

For tri-vets:

1. We all know that certain types of races cater to riders who don’t know how to use hand signals, and have trouble telling their right from their left (as in, stay to the right, pass to the left). It is perfectly okay not to want to race with those people— contrary to what the nuns may have told you, self-preservation is not a sin. However, it is NOT okay to sign up for the First-Timers’ Follies Triathlon and then complain about the presence of such riders. That’s like showing up at Jack-in-the-Box and throwing a tantrum because they don’t have filet mignon.

2. Women are taking up triathlon in record numbers these days (go us!) and the number of all-female races is also rapidly growing. If the whole girl-power thing isn’t for you, that’s cool, but please don’t sign up for a race with the words “diamond” or “diva” in the name and then act shocked when you show up to find  people laughing and hugging and waving glittery unicorn posters—you know, having fun. (Yes, that bubblegum-pink registration page should have been a tip-off.)

3. If you must express your displeasure about either of the above situations, it’s in your best interest not to do so in the Potty Queen line. Believe it or not, there’s probably someone faster than you within earshot. And mean people are more fun to beat than nice people.

4. Don’t take more than your share at the post-race buffet-- those yet to finish need to eat, too. In fact, they may need more food than you, because they were out there longer. Many races will let you come back through the line later if there’s leftover grub.

For beginners:

1. Before you set up your gear in transition, make sure you’re clear on the number of bikes your race allows on each rack. If you put your bike on a rack that’s already full, you risk getting everyone on that rack disqualified with you. (Awkward!)

2. Stay. To. The. Right. Ninety percent of the ill will between experienced and new triathletes could be avoided if people followed this one simple rule on the bike and run courses. For one thing, it’s safer: Don’t assume just because someone has great legs or a fancy ride that he also possesses the handling skills to weave around you. Plus, if the referee sees you in someone’s way, you could get a time penalty for blocking.

3. The vast majority of people who offer you advice mean well, even if the delivery leaves something to be desired. If I tell you that your helmet’s on backwards, I promise I’m not trying to embarrass you. It’s just that the little girl in your arms is adorable, and I’m pretty sure she wants you to be around to see her grow up.   

For everyone:

1. While your rack-mates in transition are indeed your competition, they are not the enemy. Smile and say hi.  Besides, you may end up having to borrow someone else’s pump.

2.  It is generally in poor taste to complain when a tri becomes a du—especially when someone died on the course the previous week. Remember that the race director doesn’t want to deal with your whining any more than you want to run an extra 5K – if the swim is canceled there’s a good reason.

3. Depending on the weather conditions, volunteering can be as physically demanding as racing—and you don’t get a medal or the benefit of an endorphin rush. Make sure to thank those who gave their time so you could enjoy the big day.