Training Diary #1: Ride for the 'Shrooms

Date: February 17, 2011
Activity: Ride
Duration: 1 hour, 40 minutes
Route: Somewhere in Eastern Pennsylvania
Miles: ??
Weather: What is that strange glowing object in the sky? Could it be...THE SUN?!!
Calves: Pasty white
HR: Pretty freakin' high (until I got dropped)
Reward: Susan Rice Alexander's Charlie's Truffled Popcorn

I'm no expert on mushrooms, but after inhaling a bag of gourmet popcorn sprinkled with the stuff, I'm convinced that truffle people are the triathletes of the food world.

Consider Susan Rice Alexander's Charlie's Truffled Popcorn, which unapologetically proclaims its costliness on its packaging: "You're about to indulge in one of the most expensive foods in the world." This is apparently because truffles grow only in certain climates--"mostly France and Italy"--two countries that coincidentally also make great bikes.

Susan, however, is doing her part to help everyday Americans exercise their right to consume pricey fungi. Her 200-acre truffle farm in North Carolina is, she says, the largest in the U.S. "My mission is to turn America's tobacco farmland into the Napa Valley of truffles," she says.

Damn. Maybe I need to set my goals a little higher.*
But Susan is there to cheer me up: "Welcome to the sexy, mystical world of the truffle."

What now?

For verification, I consult that most trusted source, Wikipedia, which states:
"A truffle (pronounced /ˈtrʌfəl/) is the fruiting body of an underground mushroom; spore dispersal is accomplished through fungivores, animals that eat fungi." Which doesn't sound at all sexy to me.

So I read on: "The origin of the word truffle appears to be the Latin term tuber, meaning 'swelling' or 'lump'". [Cue the sound of middle-school boys giggling].

Ah. It's all starting to make sense. She never does explain who Charlie is, though.

I'm sure he's very mystical and sexy.

*Or actually set goals in the first place.

Happy Valentine's Day

Yes, I know I'm a day late. But it's never too early to start thinking about how to celebrate next year. And if you happen to have a sugar-lovin' multisport maven in your life when the time comes...flowers with lollipops are an excellent start. 

I could just eat them up.

Don't forget a card.





This is best attempted on the trainer.



It's the sort of thing that people roll their eyes at in the store. But when they get one from a special friend, they say, "Aww." And think it's the best thing ever.

Yes, I Eat Tastykakes

“What,” my coworker asked, “is that?”

 I panicked for a second—crap, I knew it was only a matter of time before I got bugs in my office—until I realized that all she was pointing at was some empty cellophane.

“Oh, that,” I said, relieved. “That was a Tastykake.” A dollop of buttercream icing still clung to one of the corners of the wrapper. I wondered if it would be inappropriate to lick it off in front of her.

And then came one of the most disturbing things anyone has ever said to me.

“You…eat Tastykakes?”

I realize most people would take this as a compliment. Besides, hardly a day goes by when I’m not swimming, running or biking (or ice skating, snowboarding, or lifting), and I race pretty much year-round. But while the way I identify as an athlete has changed over time (from high school swimmer to college runner to desk-chair surfer/cyclist/triathlete, not to mention that unfortunate stint as a gymnast in second grade…), there’s one thing I’ve always known I’m not: a Person Who Does Not Eat Tastykakes.

Even so, I struggled to come up with a proper response.

I could have explained that I grew up outside Philadelphia—home of the Tasty Baking Company itself (for now, anyway) as well as the Save the Tastykake Facebook group*—where peeling the butterscotch icing off a Krimpet was as much of a lunchtime ritual as chanting “Oooooooooh!” when a classmate dropped a tray.**

I could have pointed her toward this wonderfully candid interview with elite runner Julia Lucas, which pretty much sums up what it’s like to be a collegiate distance runner who’s willing to eat a piece of pie in public:

“I’d find myself eating more, or eating junkier food, just to kind of prove to [my teammates] it was OK. I’d eat for them…I’d see it as my mission to beat girls on other teams who were losing too much weight. It was a huge source of motivation.”

(In other words: Yes, I’m faster than you…and I eat dessert too! BWAHAHA!)

 I might have simply mentioned how well the chocolate cupcakes pair with stout.

Instead, what I said was:

“Um, yes. I do. I mean, sometimes. [Awkward pause.] And they’re buy one, get one free at Giant this week!”

The truth is, I love Tastykakes. And tofu. And biking. And baking. And I don’t believe that any of these things are mutually exclusive. Which is why—once back in the privacy of my mess—I made sure that last bit of buttercream was disposed of properly. Yum.

All was well until few days later when, after a lunchtime ride, I opened another cupcake package, only to be greeted by a sight as disappointing as it was disgusting: fuzzy frosting. It turns out that while a Twinkie may last forever, the big T's cream-filled chocolate cupcakes will grow mold if neglected.***

I guess I’m not eating enough Tastykakes.

*Our motto: “We will never die, Little Debbie, so get that out of your little head!”

**If I ever did this to you, I’m sorry.

***So that’s why Giant had them on sale. Bastards.

My Krimpets shall grow mold no more.

 

It's so gratifying to know there are others like me at the office.